Dad gives me a strange necklace and tells me to never take it off.
Mom says "Let us know if you feel anything different on a molecular level."
I am suddenly concerned for my molecules.

You are listening to New York

http://youarelistening.to/newyork

Think Rainymood, but with live police chatter, as well as an optional stream of ambient tracks to back it.

First time I tuned in, it felt like I was in a movie that just started what with the slow building up music along with the chatter. And then just as the track ended, someone reported a heart attack. Ridiculously dramatic timing.

Bureaucracy*

kuymaDEAN: I swear, this waiting around, being unable to make a difference due to bearacracy is one of the more depressing things. :/
skereton: bearacracy. Needs to be a thing

Andy: Yah, taking a break this semester to try and learn a language. We'll see how that goes :p
Dean: What language? =o
Andy: Spanish
Dean: Ah, best of luck with that. Hope immersing yourself in the language doesn't pose as much of a problem. Learning how to speak something and having no one else to talk it with is the biggest obsticle, imo.
Andy: Yah, but thankfully I've got a bunch of mexicans at work :p
Andy: That sounded racist.
Dean: Whateve's mang. 8)
Dean: Wait.
Dean: I'm not making this any better am I?

"What kind of terrible forensics officer puts the proof in the pudding?"
"But what if the proof was rainbow sprinkles?"

My friends and I built an outpost on the border of hell in Terraria(2D minecraft), only for me to accidentally flood it with lava. This resulted in us constantly trying to flood it with water so it'd harden. And then flooding it with more lava because we didn't know what to do with all the excess water. It was a very silly process.

"Alright, the lava's gone, now about all this wate-
"WE NEED MORE LAVA."
"Can't we just get buckets and-"
"NO."

Garvey: "It is illegal to lick doorknobs on other planets." - Spongebob
Dean: Wait. Is it illegal for US to lick doorknobs on other planets or is it illegal for the people on those other planets to lick doorknobs?
Dean: This is very important information, I need to know.

I have a bad habit of reading ambitious as amphibious.

so nervous so nervous so nervous

I've been meaning to visit the hospice center to see if they want any volunteers for anything. I'd really like to work with dying people. Not so much knight in shining armor sort of deal, more out of curiosity. Butuh, dying is kind of a delicate matter. Not sure if I should show up all smiles and such for the first day.

"HEY GUYS, I'M READY TO WORK, WHOOOOOSE UP FOR SOME HOSPIIIIICE?"
:D

/fell asleep in bed
/had a dream where I fell asleep on the couch
/woke up feeling REALLY disoriented

"Hey dad,

we're gonna take a walk in the park, alright?"
"Try not to run anyone over."
"Uh. Okay. I'll be careful then."

derp

Interesting/beautiful girl asks to talk to me on skype.
I say "sure, give me a minute" so I could brush my teeth.
Realize she can't smell me over the internet.

:D ... D:

I tend to just smile, shake my head, and hope the context will jump out at me when people use words I don't understand. One time, my postmodernism professor was going on about snuff films and I had no idea what snuff films were. Like an idiot, I never looked it up until a week later. So what did I do until then? I smiled every time it was brought up. I can only imagine how horrifying that must of been.

We have to go deeper.

Well, back in my day...

Well, back in my day, we didn't cry and moan: "well, back in my day..."

Well, back in my day, we didn't meta-moan about people crying "Well, back in my day, we didn't cry and moan: well, back in my day...

I put googly eyes on my tv. I thought it'd be funny, what with the whole Nietzsche "when you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes into you" quote in mind. So whenever I watch tv, the tv watches me too. Turns out it's more unsettling than funny though. D:

Have you ever read George Orwell?

No? George oh-well.

I recently downloaded foxreplace. It's basically a word filter and replaces any word on a page with whatever I see fit. Recently decided to replace "war" with "shenanigans". The world is suddenly a lot more silly than violent.

"In other news, Israel declared SHENANIGANS on Palestine."

Dinner:

Forgot how to make spaghetti. Made forgetti instead.

So, let's say there's this optometrist AND HE'S A REVOLUTIONARY IN HIS FIELD! Would his work be considered glassphemey?