My friends and I built an outpost on the border of hell in Terraria(2D minecraft), only for me to accidentally flood it with lava. This resulted in us constantly trying to flood it with water so it'd harden. And then flooding it with more lava because we didn't know what to do with all the excess water. It was a very silly process.

"Alright, the lava's gone, now about all this wate-
"WE NEED MORE LAVA."
"Can't we just get buckets and-"
"NO."

Garvey: "It is illegal to lick doorknobs on other planets." - Spongebob
Dean: Wait. Is it illegal for US to lick doorknobs on other planets or is it illegal for the people on those other planets to lick doorknobs?
Dean: This is very important information, I need to know.

I have a bad habit of reading ambitious as amphibious.

so nervous so nervous so nervous

I've been meaning to visit the hospice center to see if they want any volunteers for anything. I'd really like to work with dying people. Not so much knight in shining armor sort of deal, more out of curiosity. Butuh, dying is kind of a delicate matter. Not sure if I should show up all smiles and such for the first day.

"HEY GUYS, I'M READY TO WORK, WHOOOOOSE UP FOR SOME HOSPIIIIICE?"
:D

/fell asleep in bed
/had a dream where I fell asleep on the couch
/woke up feeling REALLY disoriented

"Hey dad,

we're gonna take a walk in the park, alright?"
"Try not to run anyone over."
"Uh. Okay. I'll be careful then."

derp

Interesting/beautiful girl asks to talk to me on skype.
I say "sure, give me a minute" so I could brush my teeth.
Realize she can't smell me over the internet.